A specific kind of fetish wherein a male submissive derives an erotic thrill from relinquishing control of his financial life to a dominatrix, the actual details of a findom, or financial domination, relationship can vary wildly from person to person. It can be something as simple as paying a regular financial tribute to a domme or purchasing expensive goods from an extensive online wishlist to signing a detailed blackmail contract and even giving the dom complete control over their debit and credit cards.
Fittingly, the official term for a financial domme’s client is “pay pig.” There has been an uptick in media attention surrounding the world of findom lately, as the concept of financial domination and pay pigs doesn’t exactly mesh with popular conceptions about sex and sexuality. And that makes sense, especially considering the fact that findom isn’t really about sex–not completely, anyway. It’s about a type of subversion of the power dynamic inherent in traditional male-female relationships. More than anything else, it’s about control.
In most cases, the fin domme never even meets her pay pig face to face. The act of giving money to a mistress in service is a particular BDSM fascination for this type of submissive. They get a rush out of giving a powerful woman money to use as she pleases. They find the very act of getting and sending their money to a domme to be highly erotic in and of itself. It’s a sexual process for the pay pig, a BDSM fetish that operates on a mental and emotional level much more than a physical one. Money is powerful, and an exchange of money is a very real symbol of that power exchange. It’s a real way of pleasing your Mistress, giving her a tactile path to happiness. In the end, it’s the sub’s needs that are being fulfilled, not the domme’s.
Relinquishing control in such a tangible way is incredibly erotic for the financial submissive–in fact, many tell their mistresses their deepest, darkest secrets for the sole purposes of being financially blackmailed. Other findommes require their pay pigs to sign legally binding contracts stating their desire to be actively blackmailed before any of this actually occurs.
It’s important to note that these dommes are not lazy women simply holding a palm out, waiting to be paid for being mean to a pay pig. Financial domination, like any real topping, requires empathy and really being able to read your client. Simply publishing a wish list and waiting for tributes to roll in will give a submissive no reward. The fulfillment of the subs needs comes from doing what he wants–it’s about the power play.