Baal Eldritch Discusses Reinvention and Taboo Fetishes in This Week’s Artist Spotlight

 

iWC_ArtistSpotlight_1600_BaalEldritch

In this week’s Artist Spotlight, Baal Eldritch discusses her journey and transformation from HentaiDreamGirl to Baal

 

If you had a theme song that played every time you entered a room, what would it be?

Hahaha ! That would be a Dimmu Borgir’s song, Progenies Of The Great Apocalypse. But it would only start from (1:11) ” Discover and conceive the secret wealth , And pass it unto your breed, Become your own congregation, Measure the sovereignty of it’s invigoration”. As I enter, I’m sitting on a golden chariot pulled by sweaty bald men. I have horns and wings. :”D

If you could have starred in any movie, what would it be and why?

I would pick Sweeney Todd, because it’s pretty close to me. I would be his partner. Revenge killing and cannibalism sounds like a good program!

If you could go to dinner with any celebrity, living or dead, who would you choose? 
I would eat with HP. Lovecraft, but Edgar Allen Poe would be pretty tempting, too.
What’s the one food you couldn’t live without?

Raw meat. I prefer beef but salmon is also good, and I love bloody duck liver too.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

I am an unusual habit/absurd thing due to the fact that I have Asperger’s syndrome! And I love myself. 😀

If you could be a character from any book, which one would you choose and why?

Well I would live in the world of Harry Potter and I would be a Death Eater, but I would stay myself if possible ! 😀 I can’t identify with positive characters at all. I’m a villain.

If you were to win the Power Ball tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d do with your money?

I would renovate my house and set up my own studio. I would make a Gothic ghost castle of this house. This is my actual long term plan at the moment , but it would be much faster that way! 😀

What prompted your decision to switch from HentaiDreamGirl to Baal Eldritch?

Well this is a long and strange story, I’ll try to share my past fast.  It’s important to tell to better understand me : The main reason I started online sex work is my autism.  I can’t work, I can’t really leave my home just for limited times. My country is underdeveloped and ignores the need to make autistic friendly workplaces. The disability assistance is a ridiculously small amount (Like $200 USD a month) so I never claimed it. I tried to make money through the web, promoted myself via Facebook and Instagram over 10-12 years. I worked in the beauty industry as a hairdresser and makeup artist mostly in theaters, on movie shoots, photo shoots and weddings. Because I’m smart ( my IQ was measured by professionals, and it was around 130-131 when i was 15 years old ) and I can talk , and mimic humans pretty well , it’s not really visible, but female aspies are pretty famous for the ability to hide their symptoms. I have very hard times, like I can’t speak for days (because of mutism) and my main problem is I get sensory overload very fast.

I can say my biggest problem is my sensory differences, like I don’t feel if my bones are broken or I have nephritis, but there are sounds and noises that cause me nervous breakdowns and pain. I had a disaster in my life three years ago ( I lived in an abusive vanilla relationship for nine years, and when I evacuated my ex from the apartment , it turned out that he basically robbed me. Due to the fact that we shared a common budget and because I was naive). So I became a survivor sex worker because I had to pay overdue bills, which he said he paid, yet he needed the money for drugs. (Fun fact: I don’t do drugs, I don’t even smoke cigarettes). So my old name, (Hentai Dream Girl) comes from that period. I just made it up fast, with zero knowledge of anything and tried to survive while I was feeling guilty for a year and worked for buttons. Like $1.99/min can’t be called a good income (with only 30% cut). Meanwhile I was also working as a  hairdresser for a year. I did makeup and hair by day and worked as a camgirl in the evenings.
I will tell you I almost died, I often didn’t have food to eat . I learned a lot during those three years. I realized that live camming wasn’t the best route for me because of autism. I had the same problem with texting and chit-chatting with the members because it made me sick. I don’t want to give them any kind of girlfriend experience, because that never worked in my vanilla relationships. I also learned a LOT about my sexuality and my fetishes through custom clips. I knew that I mainly liked women and men are disgusting,(my first kiss happened with a girl when i was 14) , but I realized that subs and sissies were attracted to me! So I learned that I’m not completely gay. :’D But it’s also hard to say that I feel like a woman at all, because I feel genderless or like a bisexual guy who enjoys being a drag queen. All of these have accumulated in me through the years, including the fact that I do not want to attract males and do vanilla sex. I know it’s important that I must look like a woman in my videos, so I do it. But if I had to choose between getting bigger breasts or having a breast removal, I think you know my answer. I didn’t do it because my only income are my clips right now, and I don’t know how an androgynous look would affect my sales. Like it’s ok I’m making clips for subs but we are still talking about males. Man remains man and needs boobs I think . Most of the top girls have big breasts. My other problem is that it never felt good when I penetrated myself because I didn’t feel anything. Also, from childhood I was never fine with the fact that I have a vagina. I love vaginas on girls but not on me. I often get upset about how this could have happened to me? Like this is not my body. Now imagine that I’m an Aspie, I have body dysmorphic disorder and on top of that, I was traumatized by men several times in my life. We can say the worst things that can happen to a female have happened to me. It’s not a secret I was raped three times in my life. After that, having to flirt with males during cam sessions and fuck myself, killed me in many many ways but I did it for good.
I bought my house that year without mortgage. That was my biggest LARP ever in my life, acting kind and being a bubbly nerdy girl, just to buy that fucking house. I noticed during my journey that I never ever get aroused, YET when I verbally oppressed others, maybe tortured them, wore a strap-on… I got excited in a sexual way.
Half a year ago I woke up in the morning and I realized I can’t do this anymore. I can’t record any more vanilla clips and I can’t act kind with rude and cheap members. Half of those were super creepy sexual predators. I was sick of them. There were many nasty, needy requests from very cheap sites, and I didn’t want to please those members any longer for $3-5 dollars/min with cut. I always had limits, I avoided big toys and things like that, but that year I even accepted a cheap art commission just to avoid vanilla sex, and I only did fetish and femdom requests. Because I didn’t have any help and I made very little income, I wanted to quit. I had no idea how I should re-brand myself or what to do, and then I met with the amazing Tsarina Baltic. She was always very kind and supportive on twitter, so I got my shit together because I never communicated with others and I wrote her a “HELP” letter. I thought I had nothing to lose since I wanted to quit anyway. So if she tells me to fuck off, its all good, but I tried at least. She didn’t even know me, yet she actually helped me! I will never forget her and I don’t know how to thank her . But she saved my life and my career. And I have a very difficult case with autism, for me it’s very difficult to understand several things. She has to tell me things over and over because I have a hard time changing habits. Even if they are bad habits. T___T She’s very patient. A lot of people would think I was wasting their time or kidding with them.  She’s like a Femdom Madame to me. She has a lot on her plate too, yet she helps me unselfishly. She’s a really kind, hard working good person ! Anyway, long story short : A lot of bad things have happened to me but those made me who I am now . All the pain built me up into something better, which is cool.  From the prey I became a Predator.  And I actually monetize my anger and my pain, which is fantastic! It’s like a vengeance which pays off. I have to learn a lot about fetishes and domination, also English language. I’ll buy books and do research to be a better Dom. 🙂 Yeah not Domme. *lol* Im a scam. 🙂
What was the process like of transitioning from Hentai to Baal?

First of all I have to accept the fact, they are really into my content which is often surprising because I’m a disgusting little evil troll. Processing this is pretty hard for me because I’ve been pushing fake kindness and vanilla/switch content for almost three years. The fact is I’m very polite and honest, but I’m not nice. Because of my autism and traumas I’m eccentric, suspicious of others and I like to keep to myself. I have strong boundaries in social relations and communication, even if we are talking through emails. If a member is honest and polite enough then I can talk, but I can count on one hand those I’ve spoken with recently. They are mostly executrix fan subs or sissies. Not to mention that there are people who have tried to abuse me/take advantage of me because they learned that I have Asperger’s syndrome. The most extreme case was when a predator learned my address through my Amazon wish-list and started sending me very creepy packages full of BDSM toys, to fist me and ruin my body. I sent them back to him at my own cost even though I was poor. He abused me for a year through fake accounts, he wanted to make me his slave. He was totally obsessed and angry with me, he thought because I was poor I was maybe a drug addict, yet I rejected him .

Some were joking with two sided things, they thought I wouldn’t notice because I’m an Aspie. 🙂 The sad fact is, maybe I don’t understand people, but I read several pounds of psychological books thanks to my mom, who has a library.  So I learned how to create psychological profiles and I use them on people to notice the red flags.If somebody writes me three sentences I already know what he really wants, what his hidden intentions are.  I try to use my psychological knowledge in my clips too, but I have to use the English language much better than this. So aside from doing research on Femdom and fetishes, I’m trying to learn the English language as well. The transition is still in progress, I have to build up my store again, and make new promotional photos and clips. I’ve deleted half of my content and three sites. Those killed my vibe with their cheap and rude members. There is another site that I will delete when I’m finally stabilized. When I get notified, I get a DM through that store and my stomach hurts due to the stress. That site cheapens porn and attracts a very rude, cheap customer base, so I have to cancel it. In the past weeks I changed my prices, too and I need to rewrite some of my clip descriptions because my English is much better and I see many mistakes . I made my own intros, outros and logos, but I still have a lot of things to update! I’ve bought new clothes, contact lenses and I’ll order new wigs and several accessories. I’m renovating my house so I have very high expenses which is causing me lags. XD Hentai was not me, I mostly just shared others custom clips. I can say under “Hentadreamgirl” I made less than fifty self produced clips. With Baal I try to make twenty clips a week. Baal is definitely me and its feels good, even if I lost some of my “fans”. My income is much much better now that I’ve started to make my own ideas and started acting as I wanted to. I’m mean as fuck. I make more money and I just started this, and deleted three sites! So that means something. My mental health is important, and I make more money with less sites which is pretty surprising. Like I know my ideas are sick and fucked up, mostly about trolling and I see that the members are buying my clips. I’m often competing with myself, like I have to come up with new disgusting nonsense week by week, and it shocks me very often if it actually sells. For example, I made a clip where I castrate someone because of his small penis and and I fried that chopped off willy to eat. I used a withered sausage that didn’t even look good. Now I’ve sold that one several times. X’D
Is there a big difference in the content you created as Hentai vs the content you’re creating now as Baal? 

Yes. “ Baal is Jack’s smirking revenge”. Baal is me. Hentai was a burned out survivor, sex worker’s last scream for minimum wage. Ok we can say that was foreign wages, which is a cool payment in the Balkans. It’s like a middle-class male payment here!  But even then the amount was not satisfying for me because I hated what I did, and I was also sick of the vanilla members. For real. 😀 Now I only film what I want, even if it’s weird. I’m still learning about fetishes and about the top categories so I need more time to figure myself out. I try to follow popular things but without copying others or lying about myself. I just can’t make glammy sensual clips because I’m sick of gender roles . I don’t want to attract males, I want them to do some disgusting shit for me, to entertain me. I want them to humiliate themselves for me in the deepest depths. That’s it.

What are your favorite types of clips to make? 

Oh I have a lot! My favorite is the executrix fetish, but I love everything where I can torture others, doing verbal humiliations and committing corporal punishments. I have problems with monotheism and religions, so blasphemy is very kind to me. Of course I love trolling , I’m trying to be disgusting as much as I can. As you see I made some sensual domination type of clips because it doesn’t hurt. Those are connected with pegging/futanari fantasy, sissification or some fucked up mouth fingering spit fetish session. Spitting and exploring others mouths is one of my fetishes. Because men oppress women I’m having fun with sissification, and like three years ago my partner in real life was a gender neutral sissy sub. The feminine beauty, sensitive artistic soul, kindness, quiet shy personality is my real turn on. It’s even better if that dude comes from a religious family. :’D

 

A lot of your videos feature interesting looks and characters, where do you get the inspiration for your clips?

Thank you for the kind words! It’s all in my head. I’ve always been famous for changing my appearance, even in my vanilla past. I’m having fun with changing my look because I don’t feel that this is my body. 😀 So I’m playing with it like it’s a dress-up doll I can customize to please myself. My soul wearing human cloth and I try to keep it healthy, clean and nice as possible. I have several looks and outfits, because of my Autism I have very long association chains in my head, so I can make ideas pretty fast like mixing looks and categories fast. I use the niche top category tags in my head like Taboo, Toilet fetish, Executrix and connect a look for the categories visually, like blue lenses, wig, makeup look. Once I see my outfit and makeup in my head, I can plan a story. This is like a virtual character making app, I can see it in front of me. Once I get Baal’s accessories (eye patches, horns, military accessories), you can be sure I’ll make several super weird executions in my cellar. I find it very difficult to not cross a border in my clips  like I still have ten liters of fake blood in my room which I cant use because of the site rules, yet I would. I’m having a hard time during Halloween. I would even use animal offals to make super realistic snuff movies, yet I can’t. How sad is that ! 😀

 

How did you get started in the Domme world? 

I can tell you guys, that I was never vanilla. If a person has no normal nervous system that person must be sexually triggered in a different way. In a PRETTY different way. When I was a child  I had several problems at school, like I wanted to eat my classmates. I bit them hard. I caused bleeding and bruising from time to time. It was very difficult to end this bad habit. It even caused problems in my teenage years, I sucked inside my partners’ lips to bite them off. I also did this with tongues. But I learned that I’m not allowed to bite or hurt others if they don’t allow it because it’s a crime!  I know that I can kill somebody like that and I don’t want to go to jail. When I was sixteen years old I met a man who was ten years older than me, and he was my dom for three years. Once I outgrew him, I left him. I just needed a daddy and I’m not talking about sugar daddies. My real dad left me when I was a baby, so I think I just replaced him with a daddy dom. He wanted to get married and have kids (because of the big time gap) and that was scary so I backed out of that relationship, even though I loved him. I also accidentally read Guillaume Apollinaire books when I was thirteen, and some Sade Marki writings too, those had a big impact on me. I was like seventeen when I read the Anita Blake series, and it honestly made me realize that only BDSM excites me. When I was nineteen I often went to a ” BDSM coffee ” place, which was unfortunately closed because it was reported… But I loved shiny clothing and kinky people! I never got involved in anything sexual because I was young, but they let me hang out with them. True BDSM people are always polite and behave properly. As an Aspie it was super calming, everything is works with rules and systems. It was clear that they wouldn’t touch me unless I let them . They always asked me if I was fine with “this or that ” before doing it. I think I could have had a big career if I hadn’t met my ex and stayed with him for like nine years in a super boring and vanilla relationship. (During that period I got attacked by vanilla males and was raped. I share this to clarify, it was not kinky people that did this to me.) But I have time and I try to collect the knowledge that I need to continue my BDSM journey. It was pretty strange that I always wanted to have sex with males like I’m the active half, I wanted to make them my whores. But  I was quickly rejected after I tried to finger their ass, mouth, strangled them or accidentally slapped their faces, biting their skin bloody, and on and on. I was young and I had no idea what I was doing. I switched to girls because they mostly let me do these things, so I started to think “I’m lesbian”. Now the thing is I’m thirty years old and I don’t know whether I am a boy or a girl, so I can’t determine my sexual identity either. I know I’m dominant and primal. The sexual identity generator said I’m an “academic gay dinosaur “, maybe this is the key. 😀 And I would say that I’m still getting started because I still have a lot to research and learn.

What was your favorite clip/session to create and why?

I love executions and cannibalism/vore because this is something I’m not allowed to do in real life, but I can do a performance and somehow express myself. No need to worry, I’m completely safe, I have no personality disorders and I’m thinking logically. I also like anything where I can get dressed, for me the best part is when I change my look!  Because I am odd from birth, I like dressing as a demon. I don’t have much in common with average neurotypical humans, and I’m obsessed with religion and occultism so Baal Eldritch was named after the first principal Prince of hell:  Ba’al Zebub. Im working hard to make him proud of me. ;D

iWC_ArtistSpotlight_1024_BaalEldritch