Sex and sexuality is a highly personal and often difficult to discuss concept. Just about everyone has a secret fetish, fantasy, or kink that they love to explore in their own minds, and would like to share with the right partner. But bringing the topic up with their mate or significant other can be trying and often embarrassing. There is an underlying fear of judgment or rejection when it comes to making our fantasies a reality, and few people want to take the scary risk of potentially putting their relationship on rocks over their sexual proclivities. But the reality is, introducing a partner to your sexual fantasies and fetishes can often be not only a great deal of fun, but ultimately a bonding and enriching experience as well. Here’s a look at some simple steps to a kinkier, more fulfilling sex life:
Get Comfortable with Your Kinks
Before you can introduce your fantasies and fetishes to your significant other, you first have to get comfortable with them yourself. You might be your partner’s first introduction to the subject, so you should be able to speak openly and naturally about the topic without embarrassment or too much awkwardness. Keep in mind that everyone has a kinky side, so go ahead and embrace your inner desires–your partner will most likely be turned on by your arousal, and be able to discuss it with you in a comfortable, open way before taking part in it with you.
Let Them Know That Your Wants are Special and Intimate
Despite the fallacy that fetishes and kinks can objectify a partner, the opposite is often very true. In fact, sharing intimate fantasies with each other and living out sexual desires with each other is actually an intimate and special act that builds trust and increases the bond between two people. Psychological studies show that sharing such a personal piece of yourself with someone who values you and is willing to explore alongside you actually brings couples closer. Highlight to your partner that you want to share an intimate experience with them, and that you feel they are special and unique enough to reveal your kinks and fantasies with.
Let Them See It’s More “Mainstream” Than They Realize
A good way to begin introducing your partner to the types of things you’re into is to demonstrate how many others are already enjoying it. Slowly introduce a bit of the fetish culture by casually commenting about an article you read, watching a movie that includes a bit of that type of kink, or commenting on an online video about it. Expose your partner to positive experiences relating to this type of fetish and fantasy, and they’ll begin to see that it’s more mainstream than they realized–and that more people than they once thought are already enjoying it. From there, it should be easier to get them to start communicating about it, and willing to give it a shot.
